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Saturday, November 18th, 2000
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1:38p - letter from mom
Well I finally got a letter from my mom. A nice one. I haven't mentioned it before because it's really private but my mom is in jail. My last recollection of her before she went in five years ago, was her running into the woods behind our house in her torn up plaid flannel bathrobe, barefooted, as the cops gave her chase. When they dragged her back, i saw her feet kicking as they put her in the car, they were all torn up with wet leaves stuck to them. I sort of felt outside myself watching her go in that car, like she was someone else's mom, and that feeling hasn't altogether gone away. She wasn't such a together lady, let's just say. I'm glad she isn't reading this thing though anymore so I can talk about this stuff. She got her internet access cut off Sheryl said because she keeps downloading porn.
A lot of things happened between her and me that I haven't really talked about to anyone. And she and i don't talk, well she doesn't really talk, and when she does she yells, and it doesn't make any sense. So it was weird to get a nice normal letter from her, almost makes me more nervous than some kind of threatening letter. Its just real different.
Dear Dawn,
Your Daddy came to see me two weeks ago and we had a good talk. I know that may suprise you but we did. He talked a little about you and how you are such a good student, which of course is just wonderful since you will probably end up being the one to pay for any rehabilitation I need. I'm just kidding, girl. He said he was worried though that you've started to behave like a boy, running around in the woods, and not taking care of your appearance, and just generally being sort of rough around the edges. Well, this reminded me in fact of what I was like at your age. Becoming a woman can be a real tough road, especially for women who have strong minds and spirits, but there's no reason I think to act like a boy because then you aren't really getting to know the woman inside of you. I didn't realize that until I was much older, but I think it can serve you now to know that there's nothing wrong with being a woman. Just don't let them boss you around, is all. I hope you are doing all right, daughter. I do think of you, and am sorry for our past.
Mom
I could tell you what happened between her and me but right now I'm feeling sort of confused by it. I'm happy she cares I suppose, but I hope to hell this isn't some attempt at a good parole or something.
current mood:  confused
current music: america (comment on this)
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